I’m not going to satisfy you with my answer. I’ll share with you what I’ve experienced so far, but it won’t solve your dilemma. You are the guru. You have the answer.
Here’s what I have regarding being human: compassion. There are other words you can use, such as love. But love gets tricky. Some people think love is intercourse, and other people think love is selfless. Love can be anything to anyone. What does it mean to you?
Compassion is more challenging to screw up. Don’t be a dick. Care for others. The most critical part of compassion is that it comes from within. It makes you feel good. And here’s the kicker: it feels good when you show it to yourself.
You’re human, so am I
When I see people cry, it breaks my heart. Kids cry when they get hurt, and so do adults. The pains may be different, but the hurt and pain feel the same. It sucks. The compassion inside of us wants to reach out to the hurt individual and ask them, “what’s wrong?” We want to help.
What about when we hurt? What happens when we need comforting help, but we can’t find what we desire? The hurt keeps cutting. The pain keeps digging. Why can’t we help ourselves? We can.
Don’t be a dick, show compassion
You wouldn’t kick a hurt kid, so why would you kick yourself? My therapist told me to visualize holding myself, as a kid and comforting that kid version of me. Your body has kept and continues to keep the score. Your body remembers all the pain of your past. Current events trigger pains of the past, and past pain becomes the present pain. Hold yourself.
People need hugs. Hugs are rare, especially now with layers of face masks, gloves, and social distancing. Hug yourself. Hold yourself.
I want to pause and let another person’s words speak their volumes:
“You fell asleep in one world, and woke up in another.
“Suddenly Disney is out of magic, Paris is no longer romantic, New York doesn’t stand up anymore, the Chinese wall is no longer a fortress, and Mecca is empty.
“Hugs and kisses suddenly become weapons and not visiting parents and friends becomes an act of love.” – RhapsodyBoheme
Remember being a kid
Kids are cool because they are curious and imaginative. We need more of this. Here’s a picture of a space alien and the story that goes with it.
I also want to encourage you to check out Food.for. Thoughts post on what is self-compassion.
Back to me (hope it helps you)
I got mad yesterday at two things:
- At myself for not completing everything I wanted, at the time I wanted it done, and for not doing it how I envisioned it.
- At not being able to connect with people. I didn’t like going through the grocery stores with Plexiglas between me and the cashiers and tape telling me which way to go down aisles. Masks hide people’s expressions, and I thrive off of people’s expressions. I’m not connected, damn it!
The first point I can work on with myself. The second point confuses me. Do you have any ideas?