Dr. Oz ain’t got shit on me
Why the fuck would you pay me for a 45-minute guided meditation? Stop. I’m not selling you anything. Instead, I’m dealing with imposter syndrome, and I’m also trying to give you some tools that will make your life better. Plus, do it humorously. Haha, you know? Therefore, here are some free energy tools for healing. By yours truly.
First, I’m not going to require you to do a weird yoga pose for five hours while sipping Yoga(R) tea and rubbing crystals on your genitals. However, if you are interested in that sort of thing, I heard New Mexico is great for that.
Second, I’m not claiming this will cure cancer. Despite some guy on TEDx claiming doctors can use energy tools for healing cancer. It’s a petri dish. Plus, that’s beside the point. You aren’t a petri dish. You’re a stressed motherfucker that needs help ASAP. I get it.
Finally, I curse. I dare you to try three mantras for five minutes and see what makes you feel better:
- Hail Mary and Our Father
- Om Mani Padme Hum
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
Fifteen minutes later, what works best?
My story on finding energy tools for healing
Most of you aren’t reading this paragraph and instead scroll to the bottom to get the bullet-pointed list. That’s fine. But this is SEO land, baby, and the internet gods need words. Plus, for my true fans that devour every word (thank you, and I love you!), I’m giving you some personal details of my life.
First and foremost, we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. Wrap your head around that. Print it out. Say it over and over, and mix in a few fucks. For instance, we are all spiritual fucking beings having a fucking human experience. You get the idea.
My story started in early childhood when my dad dragged me to church every week. From there, I went to the military. Then, I died.
Do you know that song “knocking on heaven’s door?” Yeah, been there. Done that. And I learned a few things. But all you really need to know at this point is: you are a spiritual being having a human experience.
Wait. That wasn’t much of a story
Dude. This article isn’t about me–it’s about you. If you want to find out about my death experience, Google it. Type in “Ryan DeJonghe cardiac arrest,” and you’ll get the details. For now, let’s focus on you. Again, you are a spiritual being having a human experience.
Next, let’s blow your mind. There’s one spirit. My spirit is the same as your spirit, which is the same as the earth’s spirit. It’s all energy.
How about an analogy, Ryan?
I’m glad you asked. First, take a cup of water. Next, pour that water into an icecube tray. Finally, freeze it. Now notice a few things:
- It’s all the same water
- It appears separated
- It can take different forms
Do all dogs go to heaven? Yes. But let’s not confuse things with heaven right now. Let’s focus on you being a spiritual being having a human experience. The same spirit that is in me is also in you. Furthermore, that same spirit is in your dog Fido. Or, whatever ridiculous name you gave your dog.
Now to click it all into place. For instance, at the end of your yoga class, what do you say to each other? Namaste. Which means what? “The divine in me bows to the divine in you.”
If there are any Christians still reading this (most probably stopped at the first sentence), then realize this all goes along with your faith, too. Surprise! I also consider myself a fucking Christian. I believe in Christ’s teachings. For instance, he and the Father being one. More on that another time.
In summary, we are all the same water but put into different trays. Some of us are square, some of us are half-circles, and some of us are crushed shards waiting to die. Same water. Different forms.
What about the energy tools for healing?
Oh yeah, the point of this article. Considering most people head to the bottom of articles for the takeaways, I’d rather focus first on the fake stuff and then give you the energy tools for healing that you can use at the end. Is that okay? That was a long sentence. Also, you don’t really have a choice in how I type things, do you?
Actually, it’s more difficult for me to prove what’s fake than what really works. Why? Because what may look fake could actually work. For instance, when I was a teen, I would come home from school, and Benny Hinn was on TV. This was back in the old days, before Netflix. Benny said miracles were possible, and I believed him.
Was Benny Hinn doing a fake performance for the sole purpose of getting money. Yeah, it sure looks like it. But did some people actually healed? Yeah, some people actually got healed.
There is something about this type of healing that is absolutely real. Dr. Larry Dossey documented many cases and some of the science of it in his book Healing Words. Essentially, these are the takeaways of his book:
- Healing occurs in prayer/words of any religion
- Healing can happen across distance
- It’s less scripted words and more mindful
Therefore, some energy tools for healing can appear fake but have genuine effects on the human body. For instance, holding a rock or crystal may not seem like it would do anything significant, but there are cases where it DOES help. Furthermore, sometimes energy tools are discovered by accident.
Energy tools for healing that actually work
First, I should have covered what is energy healing? Essentially, energy healing is utilizing the energy within us and around us to come to a balance. Energy healing brings more of the spiritual being in us versus enabling the human experience to override our truth. In other words, energy healing is being fucking zen.
Second, I know people are shitting their pants because I don’t use the right phraseology. For example, I just misused the word “zen.” Or, I’ll talk about Reiki, and people will ask me what type of Reiki, or what level. But it doesn’t fucking matter. Remember, we are the same shit, just in different forms. Therefore, energy healing is being fucking zen.
Because I’m not only an energy healer, but I also believe I’m the god of the internet, I have found some great resources to get you started. But don’t worry, I’ll give you the digest before this article ends.
- Energy tools for healing with chronic conditions
- Mind, Body, Green for energy healing at home
- Everyday health with the benefits of Reiki
Because I’m partial to Medium (I enjoy the social aspect of writing there, plus the information that’s shared), I found three of their best articles about energy healing:
I want to pause there and give you Everyday Health’s infographic on the benefits of Reiki. I really like it because it doesn’t make outrageous claims. In other words, it lists what is proven to work as energy tools for healing.
- Deepak Chopra on the science of energy healing
- Meryl Davids Landau on the female versus male chakras
- JustaskPenny summarizing a BUNCH of information
The last article includes several YouTube videos, including some experiments with frequencies and water, salt, and fire. Definitely worth checking out!
Come on, Ryan, give me the good stuff
Yes, I’ve been a little long-winded setting this up. Sorry, not sorry. Hopefully, you’ve gathered good things along the way, but now let’s get to the things you can do that actually work. But by “work,” I mean it makes you feel better, more relaxed, and possibly less sick.
Some of my more popular articles covering energy tools for healing are included here:
- 7 frequencies to help heal the 7 chakras
- What you will experience in a Reiki session
- 9 grounding methods
- 7 crystals paired with the 7 chakras
However, let me give you a blended step-by-step resource of energy tools for healing that you can use right now.
First, check-in with the five senses. For example: find five things that you can see; four things you can feel; three things you can hear; two things you can smell; one thing you can taste. Or some variation of this.
Second, play some music. I enjoy going to the free app Insight Timer. They have many guided meditations, some great social features, and–as the name implies–a timer. But here, find either binaural beats or frequency music. You can also go to YouTube and type in “528 Hz love frequency.” There are a TON of 3-hour long videos; that’s more than enough.
Finally, add anything in that will help you. For example, try scented candles, pretty rocks, or calming phrases to repeat. A lot of this is personal taste, but all of it proves to be helpful. Or, when all else fails, chant “fuck, fuck, fuck.”
My energy tools for healing
I believe my experience with death has helped me in the realization of the divine. In other words, I know that we are all energy. Again, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Is it possible for energy healing to cure cancer? Sure. But I would still recommend seeing a doctor and following their advice. Essentially–forgive the additional analogy–energy tools for healing are just that…tools.
For serious diseases of the body, doctors have specialized tools. For stress, anxiety, and the overall well-being of the soul, energy healing provides wonders. That’s why you’ll now see both used in hospitals.
As for my initial question, why would someone pay me for energy healing? First, I’m not the healer. I’m a guide. Therefore, they are paying for my guiding services. I’m here to help them get in tune with their own energies.
Does this cure my imposter syndrome? No, because that’s part of this human experience. But I feel my authority and experience growing, and that feels fucking amazing.
What about your experience?
Have you had energy healing done or performed it yourself? I’d love to know more! Please let me know in the comments about your experiences with energy tools for healing.
Plus, before you go, I want to stay in touch with you. Every week I send out five helpful articles and open myself up for questions. I’m not selling anything, just looking to connect and grow together. Find out more and drop your email here or connect on social media here.